people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
