how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize