"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
