I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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