Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

Fav 17 1178 1987
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(201): View more from New Jersey

At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."

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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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(954): View more from Florida

a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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(626): View more from California

you didnt know i had herpes?

Fav 104 1933 38699
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

Fav 12 764 1351
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"

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