I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
