im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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