i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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