I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
