That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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