I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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