On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
