You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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