So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
