white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
