It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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