Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
