Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
