For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
