Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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