It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
