11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
