So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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