Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
