My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize