They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
