sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize