whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
