it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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