I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
