That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
