you would pick up someone in the library
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
try to milk me bitch
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