nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
