I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
