My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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