She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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