Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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