It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
