Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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