apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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