No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
