I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
