I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
