I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize