you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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