Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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