so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
