We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
