Me. At least after what I've been through.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
