New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
