i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
