A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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