I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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