No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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