thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
