i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
