we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
