My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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