we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize