No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize