So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
