He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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