people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
