Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize