would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
