An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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