Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
