I look better un-naked...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
