theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
